doomed!!! 
Quarantine one liners that will crack you up!
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My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
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Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
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I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
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Every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
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This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog… we laughed a lot.
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Quarantine Day 10- Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
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I’m so excited — it’s time to take out the garbage. What should I wear…?
